Do you believe ?
Not in " GuitarAClaus " or even Santa Claus ... but do you believe in COINCIDENCE ?
This little Christmas tag may not look like that much of a keepsake, but you may think otherwise once you hear the story behind it ... and especially if you DON'T believe in coincidence.
I had a horrible night last night. I was really missing my Jer and I was really hurting, almost as bad as the first days after he died. I cried until I cried myself to sleep ... it was well after 3 in the morning. I figured my day off the next day would be shot. I'd probably sleep in and just hide under my blankets and lick my wounds. It had been raining all night and was still miserable when I first woke up. I just retreated back into my cocoon.
Then my phone rang. Damn, WHO would that be ... I let it go over to message. It was from Jerry's brother Tom. He said he had something for me that Jer wrote and to call him back.
I rolled out of bed, splashed some water on my red and swollen eyes, took a drink to ease my dry throat and made the call.
Tom said " You won't believe this ! I was taking some old newspapers out of a bag I got from Dad to fire up the wood stove in the garage and this paper flew out from between the rest. It's something Jer wrote to you ! I thought you would want it. "
I told Tom that I often saved maybe one out of 20 of Jer's notes he wrote to me ... just the ones that said something out of the usual ... and Tom said, " Well THIS isn't a note, but I won't tell you any more, you've got to come see it. "
So I was intrigued. Was it some music Jer wrote ? I puttered around thinking of the possibilities and finally pulled myself together and left for Tom's garage.
When I got there, we talked for a few minutes first and Tom was SURE there was more to this all than simply finding a note from Jer. He didn't come right out and say it, but he was implying that Jer prevented the note from simply getting tossed into the flames of the stove and lost forever. " It was the way it flew out of the handful of papers I had, " said Tom.
So he finally presented the Christmas tag, and at first I was disappointed that it wasn't music manuscript or a love note, or well, something more exciting .... but then I started to think, what are the odds !
Because the note addresses me as " Shelly " it dates it back to our first Christmas at the Lavene house together. Our very first Christmas as a couple, I was still living in my own apartment. Later Christmas celebrations Jer would have written his pet name for me, " Zilla " ( AKA Blonde Zilla ) So this tag had been stuffed into a bag of newspapers over 5 years ago and only NOW after Jer has passed does this tag leap out away from the other papers so as to NOT get tossed into the fire.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS, INDEED.
After I placed the tag into my pocket over my heart, Tom and I chatted a while about Jer and things that had been weighing on our minds ... It was a good talk and I was happy to have visited with Tom.
Tom had to get back to work, so I decided while I was in town to do some things I had dreaded ... to complete some tasks that would set my life back on tract ... things I had put off already and would not have gotten around to if Tom hadn't roused me out of my emotional coma.
To my delight, the rest of the day seemed to fall into place and all the things I had dreaded to face worked themselves out to the BEST outcomes. It seemed as if Jer was guiding my way, giving me the confidence and the attitude I needed to clear my path and begin the rest of my journey free of the weights I had been carrying.
Did Jer visit us today ? Did he want to wish us a happy holiday season ? Does everything really happen for a reason. I think of the phrase " God works in mysterious ways " and I just have to wonder, was this His work ?
I don't believe in coincidence, so ......
Thank you for guiding my way today Jer !
And Happy Holidays to you all !!